New medical study finds "Rock & Roll Linked to Saving the World", but further testing needed

    In a surprise announcement on Saturday, scientists at the University of Doowap Regional Scientific Research Center revealed that a new study had been conducted testing the link between "rock & roll" and "saving the world" in lab mice. Tests were conclusive: 100% of lab mice both liked "rock & roll" and were interested in "saving the world".

    The scientists were quick to point out that they had not examined the effect the Kryptonite they put in the mice's food had on this study. Nor have they conclusively proved that this connection exists in humans. After all, most humans don't have the advantage of a third ear on their backs for listening to rock music, like these mice had.

    The next step, these scientists point out, is to compare 15-year-old kids who listen to blaring rock music in their rooms all day, with a 30-year-old guy strapped in a room, forced to listen to Michael Bolton for 30 hours straight.

    "Whichever one is more interested in saving the world at the end of this process is clearly the winner here," the lead scientist orated.

    The lab mice could not be reached for comment. They apparently couldn't hear the phone ringing over their loud rock music.